Of Puppets and Muppets...

Yesterday, on a hot and humid July night, millions of Pakistanis enjoyed the first live episode of “A Puppet of The Muppet”. It was broadcasted live on all major channels of the country and even before its airing estimates had predicted that viewer ratings would go through the roof for this pilot episode. Unfortunately for the sponsors of this show, the results weren’t great; major thanks to load shedding.

A disgruntled puppet fan, on condition of anonymity, told APB correspondent: “What has this government achieved in more than 100 days? There was one avenue of recreation left for us in the form of live puppet shows. Even that can’t be availed anymore. We want unhindered supply of electricity for next episodes of this show otherwise we’ll go on a hunger-strike.”

When APB correspondents put this problem in front of Federal Minister for Information, Miss. Sherry Rehman (our star puppet’s last crush), she declined to comment. However, millions who watched the episode were left in awe of our star puppet’s first live performance. Despite his over-the-top sweating and his poor speaking skills in front of the camera, the nation gave him a standing ovation for his excellent lying skills. The next episode is expected to be aired when need eventually arises. For the moment, the puppet is enjoying the adoration of his master muppet.

By the way, due to the hype of this show, I missed our Prime Minister’s speech last night. Can anyone inform me what he said in that speech?

WHY GUYS DON'T WRITE ADVICE COLUMNS:

Dear Osman,

The other day I set off for work. I hadn't gone more than two kilometres when my engine stalled and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home, only to find my husband making love to my neighbour! He was let go from his job six months ago, and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and oh what's that term, yeah worthless! I love him very much but I don't know If I can trust him anymore? What should I do?

Frustrated


Dear Frustrated,

A car stalling can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Check that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it's clear, check the jubilee clips holding the vacuum pipes onto the inlet manifold. Don't worry, these things tend to happen unless ofcourse, the fuel pump itself is faulty. In that case, you would have to change the carburettor float chamber.

I hope this helps. Best of luck.

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I know this is a political blog, but right now all my mind can come up with is 'fuck Karzai'. And that's not even debatable so well, wouldn't have been much of a topic to talk about. My apologies.

p.s. Fuck Karzai.